After The Big Chop - Newly Natural

Hi lovelies!  I finally posted my video on my reaction after doing the Big Chop and cutting my transition process short.  Also in the video, I did not style my hair at all so you can see what it looked like after I big chopped.  I did not want to scramble and try to make it look pretty for the video, I want you to see the real deal.  I always want to be realistic with what I present.  At the end of the video, I had a little more hair cut.  Enjoy!


Thank you so much for watching!

Relaxed Haired, Weaved & Wig Wearing Mothers: "You Are A Poor Example For Your Daughter"

Do you take care of your daughter(s) as well as you take care of yourself? If yes, then you are an awesome mother!

 

Who is there to judge you?

 

I thought it would be frowned upon if you as a mom were well groomed all the time, but your child looks neglected most of the time. Or if your lifestyle choices were not so healthy for their mental and physical growth...then I can see how the phrase, "bad example" would apply.

Over time and now more recently, I have been getting several to many emails from mothers about this topic.  Many of these mothers are getting bad mouthed or insulted for having relaxed hair, wear a hair weave or wig while their daughter(s) have natural hair.  I do have relaxed hair and my daughter has natural hair.  No big deal. Our hairs are healthy respectively and I don't see a "problem".  Really, I don't.  I honestly did not ever want to post anything about this topic, but felt maybe a person can benefit from it.

 

I too have been called a poor example as a mother, from people I personally know. I have gotten snide comments too. Back handed compliments: "You have pretty hair, but you should cut it all off and go natural for your daughter". And several social media outlets, I was told that I should not be giving hair advice to mothers with natural haired children.  But I still do and my lovely ladies benefit.

 

A while back, someone had questioned me about how I would have handled a situation if my daughter asked to be relaxed.  I went into a whole explanation about how I raise my daughter.  I sounded like I was being defensive to prove how well and how I plan on raising her. Thinking about it now, it was unnecessary to explain myself.  I was the idiot and sounded pathetic for doing that and giving this individual my time.

*Have my daughter asked for her hair to be relaxed?  Not yet and if she asks, I will ask her why.
 

*Has she asked for her hair to be STRAIGHTENED? Her answer to my "why" question: "I just want to see what it looks like straight."

I agree that hair can be an example for a young girl as far as grooming routine or styling choices. I also feel that it is okay for children to be curious with their question, you ask them why and go from there. Many say that when they ask for their hair to be straightened or relaxed, they have self-esteem challenges and it is our fault because of what we portray ourselves as. Huh? That is not the only ONE REASON why a young girl wants to have their hair straightened, weaved or relaxed.  It does not mean that the only reason why she asked is because she has identity challenges and that it is the fault of the mother.

What about outside exposure, influence and being around their peers that can trigger these thoughts and questions?

On another note, mothers who have decided to "transition" or "big chopped" to go natural, do it for different reasons that are relative to themselves.  I have heard reasons from them admiring their own daughter's hair, to them wanting to try something new.

But I do not feel that hair is the ONLY way to be a good example for a child...let us be a good example all around. Give your children the whole package.

 

How about these situations? 

• I received an email from a natural haired mother almost a year ago whose daughter asked to get her hair relaxed because she likes her friend's relaxed hair.
• An email from a mother who has very loose natural curls and her daughter has tightly coiled hair. Her daughter is upset that she doesn't have hair like hers.
• I read about a mother who is suffering from early balding and has to wear a wig, but her 13 year old daughter wants to wear one too.

So to my lovely mothers who have sent and been sending me messages in regards to this issue for over quite some time (although I did answer them)....pick your battles and keep being the awesome mother that you are.  Take care of your children, keep them well rounded and be a good positive role model the best way you know how.  Keep doing you.

And to the lovely mothers who want to give a side eye to a relaxed, weaved up or wig wearing mother, please stop. There is a way to give constructive criticism without cheap shots.  Divert those eyes to your beautiful children and be a positive example for them.
 

And what good example is one being if they are tearing another mother down because of her hair choices?  We have to do better ladies!

Thanks for reading, we'll chat soon!

Blow Drying The Hair Using The Tension Method

How I blow dry my hair, this video was recorded WEEKS & WEEKS ago. I was 8 weeks post at the time. Finally sat down and edited it. I don't like long videos and try to keep them under 6 minutes. This one is under 4 minutes long & straight to the point. Enjoy!

Stretching Hair Without Heat - "Banding Method" Video

Want to be able to manage your child's natural hair? Especially when he/she has so much shrinkage? Here's a video on one of the ways I stretch my daughter's hair without using heat. The "Banding Method."

My daughter has major shrinkage and I think it shrinks about 75% when completely dry in it's natural state.  It is challenging and frustrating to manage at times.  Most of the time, I stretch her hair after washing it to make it more manageable to work with.

There are several was to stretch the natural hair without heat.  I share one of them in this video.  This video was also narrated by my daughter, MadiMel since it is about her hair.  Please support her, she wants to do her own videos with my help!  Hope this video is helpful!

Here are the items we used in the video.  You can get them at a local beauty supply store or Sally's.  There are also online websites to purchase hair accessories.

The hair bands were purchased at a local beauty supply store.  
They look like this: Hair Bands & Shower Comb

Thank you so much and God Bless! We'll chat soon!

What A Hair Journey! 2013 Update

It's been 6 long years - 3 bad set backs and all, but I'm here now.

I have been on my hair journey since late October 2007.

By now, you would have thought that I should have been waist length, or even hip length.  I thought so myself too when I first started my journey.  But I was so wrong!

I can not say that my hair journey was horrible.  It could have been worse than horrible.  I will say that my hair journey was normal except for the set backs I experienced.  And those set backs did set me back where I had to let go of the idea of having long hair for a while.

Let us remind ourselves again that it happens and we must learn to accept it, understand it and learn from it.

Here are the bad set backs I had during my hair journey.

I colored my hair (slightly bleached it and then put on a rinse). My hair started to slowly break off and it was so dry and brittle. Will I color my hair again? No, I will only do color rinses. I don't even want to think about doing henna....at least not yet.

• What did I do: I decided to focus on the health of my hair, clip my ends and while staying at bra strap length. This has been over the course of three years of being bra strap length, trying to get rid of the bleached/dyed hair completely.

I suffered from post partum hair shedding. I lost all of my edges and had a bad widow's peak. My shedded hair looked like tumble weeds on my bathroom floor. 

• What did I do: I did more cowashes, protein treatments, rubbed castor oil on my scalp and styled my hair that would last a whole week.  I was also afraid to comb or even touch my hair, but mostly used my fingers to comb and conditioner to detangle before a wash.  And of course, I kept taking my prenatal vitamins.

After I stopped taking contraceptives (birth control), I went through hair shedding again, this time it was all throughout my head, I did not lose much of my edges...this was just early this year.  It has stopped shedding excessively and is pretty much back to normal again. (Side note: Contraceptive alters your hormones, so when you stop taking them, your body is trying to readjust to it's normal natural state. No baby plans here, I'm getting older and contraceptives does not agree with my body anymore.)

• What did I do: I deep conditioned, cowashed, protein treatments and massaged my scalp with castor oil at times.  And since I do not like my hair down during the summer, I had it in a bun most of the season.

Patience was been key during this whole hair journey. I would have loved to stick to getting my hair long. But you know what...health is even better.  Does not make sense for me to have long unhealthy hair.

For those of you who have been on a real long hair journey, it's okay. I am on one and look where I am now. Instead of giving up and being upset about never have long hair, I decided to shift my focus to wanting healthy hair.  And yes, I had moments of frustrations, moments where I wanted to chop my hair off and moments where I said that I did not care about this whole hair journey thing....those thoughts occupied my mind after I saw how damaging my hair started to become after the hair color. Right now, my focus is still the same to this day...HEALTHY HAIR.  Of course, a healthy diet, vitamins and water too.

I always say this, "A healthy head of hair will always turn heads no matter at what length."

Before Trim & After Trim
(My hair was not colored, the photos were taken at two different times of the day with flash.
The picture on the left is my natural hair color in the sun.)

Thanks for reading, enjoy the pics and we'll chat soon!

MadiMel's Night Time Hair Routine - Natural Hair (Children's Hair)

Many have asked me about MadiMel's night time hair routine.  It is explained in the video below.
Enjoy the video and ask questions!

 

We'll chat later and God Bless!

-Sdestra

Revising A Hair Regimen

We have always heard the phrase, "If it isn't (ain't) broken, then don't fix it."
True.
I had always advocated about using what works for you as long as the technique implemented helps with your hair journey.

Over time, we may feel the need to tweak our hair regimen because:

*we found something better
*our hair doesn't respond the same any more to a product we have been using for several years
*we just want to try something different/new
*we saw or heard someone else talking about a product and we must try it - "jumping the bandwagon"

I just recently revised my hair regimen.  Not much at all.  Too give you some background info, my hair regimen has been the same for several years.  I may have let go of a product or two and also started using a product again.

But me, trying to use it myself...I'm surprised I still had hair!  So let us fast forward, I moved to Atlanta and I still had two bottles of the ApHogee Two Step Protein Treatment, several large containers of 100% Shea Butter that I purchased for $1.00 each working near NYC from an African store.  I was on a rampage, cleaning and clearing things out, that I threw those products out...thinking I would never use them again.

I had purchased the ApHogee products way before my hair journey...spent nearly $100 on all of the products because someone told me about the hair care line.  I really didn't know how to use them.  I wasn't knowledgeable about proteins, and proper moisturizing.  My beautiful sister is a hair stylist back home in Jersey, and I was her guinea pig when she started working at a salon, and it was also an opportunity for her new boss to see her skills.  She followed the instructions carefully and did my hair resulting in a bouncy-full of body, roller set.  Although I didn't have the balancing moisturizer with me, she did deep condition my hair with a moisturizing conditioner.

When I started my hair journey a year later after moving, I smacked my forehead reading and following hair journies with the products I threw out!. Mad and upset!

Anyway, as a protein treatment, I have always used eggs. Now, It is time to let the eggs go and make room for the 2-Step Protein Treatment along with it's partner, the Balancing Moisturizer which works as a pair.

I already have been using two ApHogee products for years, so they were always staples for me (Keratin & Green Restructurizer, ProVitamin Leave-In Conditioner).

I also went back to my old relaxer only because I always loved it and had nothing else but good results for so many, many years.  The Alma Legend, for me...was a great relaxer and I have nothing negative to say about it in regards to my personal experience.  I was fortunate enough to not to feel any burn - it did process a bit quicker in my experience, the product required no mixing either and it smelled amazing....yes, for a relaxer, it smelled awesome.  It was sent to me for review months ago and I did make the choice to try it out.

So what changes have you made in your hair regimen? Was it a good thing, bad thing, or still working on it?

So check out my hair regimen, and feel free to ask questions!

***My Hair Regimen

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My Son's Hair Cut!!!

Remember the post I posted months and months ago about growing my son's hair?

It was my husband's idea to grow it out.  Not mine.  I went along with it so I can document his hair journey and thought it would be cute.  When were we planning on cutting it?  We had no clue and would do it when he had gotten a little older.

So it was the beginning of his hair journey...I cared for it, braided it, moisturized...basically took care of it to retain length.

The other day, I took his hair down from a set of cornrows that lasted about three weeks.  Usually, I'll give his hair a break for about a week.  Wash, condition and moisturize.  I'll put his hair into two large cornrows to help stretch the hair out for about two days.

On Sunday, my husband looked at our son and said, "I'm taking him to the barber shop."  I paused and had mixed feelings about it.  I was starting to get used to doing his hair.  Then I thought that it would be a good thing because he can go out with his father more than usual and have that extra time to bond together when they get their hair cuts.

My husband dreaded it because he felt that our son would have screamed his head off and flip out.  He told me he have seen from toddlers to young boys around 10 years old in tears.  I assured him that he will be fine and is a trooper.  Although my son does give me a hard time to braid his hair, I think he would sit still for someone else despite the sound and feeling of the clippers on his head.  And recently, he had his teeth cleaned at the dentists' office and did not flinch nor cry.

After about an hour my husband and son left, these photos come in:

The first thing I noticed was his face!  

He was smiling and did not have a look of distress.  Then my husband called me, raving about how our son sat there and did not cry.  Then went on saying that he sat there and smiled the whole time.  Far from what he expected.

So, the hair is gone.  The hair growth journey has ended and I am perfectly fine with it. Did I cry?  Absolutely not.  May be it would have been different if I was at the barber shop.  But I was happy and knew that dealing with one less head of hair would be more appealing and a relief.

Interesting to see how he is a big boy now...it's official and he went from being a toddler to looking like a boy as if he went through a rite of passage into becoming one (laughing).

Thanks so much for reading and here are a few more photos showing his hair from the time he was born to now with his hair cut.  We'll chat again soon!

That Time of Year Again! Recitals, Weddings, Formals, Proms....(With Bun Video Tutorial)

It is about that time again for this season and school-end events (recitals, weddings, proms, formals) for many of our children.  For me, it is my daughter's dance recital.  She has been dancing for 4 years now and absolutely loves it.  This year, she will be in four different dance routines during the recital in June.  This week, was their professional photo shoot and that meant her hair had to be styled into a mandatory bun.

Each year, the requirement is to have the child's hair in a bun (for girls).   For some parents, it may be a challenge to do this depending on the hair the child has. There are many tools that cater to buns.  Such as the donut foam, sock bun, and other hair bun making tools.  Not everything works for every one and here are some reasons why:  short hair, fine hair, thin hair, thick hair, long hair.  Depending on the hair, you need to have something to accommodate what needs to be achieved.  From talking to several parents of all races that bring their to the same dance schools, many face various challenges: coarse hair, short/thick hair, long/thick hair, layered hair, long/thin hair, short/thin hair, curly hair....so many!

MadiMel has thick, coarse and dense hair.  Her hair is mostly coily and a small area where it is a little loose with small waves.  Straightening her hair could have been an option, but I choose and chose not to do that.  From the years since she has been dancing and received the hair style requirement, I have never used heat but opted for another option.  Going heatless.

If she already had a style on her hair such as cornrows and/or twists, I simply take her hair down (after each twist and cornrow), finger detangle and then use a Denman brush to make the hair more manageable.  Considering that her hair was previously styled, her hair would be more likely be stretched out.  Less work but just detangling that would consume my time.

If I shampooed or cowashed, towel dry as much as I can, put her hair into 4 jumbo twists/plaits or loose french braids to let it airdry after moisturizing it.  That also helps to stretch the hair (other ways: conrows, twists, banding, african threading).

Once her hair is dried, I take her hair down.  Her hair is a bit more stretched where it becomes manageable and takes so much less time to style.  And again, I also make sure her ends are well moisturized since that part of the hair, the ends, are the oldest and vulnerable to dryness.

If heat is a plan for you to straighten the hair:

*Be sure that you use a heat protector
*Do not flat iron the hair while wet
*Using too much product(s) and flat ironing may burn the hair and cause damage
*Use the lowest heat setting possible that will just do the job for your child's hair
*To avoid going over the hair several times with the flat iron, use a comb with it to help keep the hair aligned
*Moisturize the hair well - this will restore the dryness the heat caused

Here is a video on the bun I do on her hair for her recital (and other times).
The video was recorded back in Spring 2012.  Since it is the time for various events, several people had asked me for a video like this.  I thank you!



We'll chat soon and have a blessed and wonderful weekend!

-Sdestra

Benefits and Uses of Castor Oil

Many have used and are using Castor Oil in their hair regimens for the past few years when it became well known to help with the hair.

Black Castor Oil (from Haiti)

Castor Oil is a vegetable oil from the castor bean.  The oil contains a lot of appealing things that would make it attractive to use in a hair regimen and beauty regimen.  Another great thing about this oil is that it has healing benefits too.

The oil is usually clear to a dark brown color.  It comes refined and un-refined too which all depends on how the oil was extracted from the beans.  Unrefined in my opinion is better because the properties are not manipulated or stripped from the oil.

Castor Oil has proteins, Vitamin E, anti-fungual and anti-bacterial properties.  The benefits are not only limited to the things mentioned, but it also has anti-inflammatory properties.

Here are some reasons why this oil is great for a healthy hair regimen:

It Adds Shine:
Castor Oil coats the hair shaft, seals in moisture to make the surface silky and smooth.  It is also a great oil to use for hot oil treatments before you wash your hair.  One down side is that if you use it too much or too often, it can weigh your hair down, cause build up and leave your scalp and hair very oily.  Also, let us note, that if the oil coats the hair to seal it, it can slow and/or prevent split ends.  One of the ways to do it, is to mix the oil with a lighter oil for even distribution.

It Helps In Hair Loss, Dandruff & Circulation:
Because of the anti-fungual and anti-bacterial properties the oil has, which I mentioned above...this oil has a high amount of chemical compositions of fatty acids with ricinoleic acid.  With that said, many bacterial, fungal and parasitic infections can be healed using it the oil.  And with the different infections being combated, it fights hair loss to allow the hair to grow.

Castor oil also helps to increase circulation, makes the hair follicles strong and stimulate hair growth.  If hair loss is hereditary, I will go on an assumption that castor oil may not stop hair loss.  In cases of alopecia and post partum hair shedding, this oil can be a great benefit to help restore the hair. Those who are experiencing dry scalp and a lot of dandruff, it also works wonders since it is an amazing moisturizer.

Helps To Thicken the Hair and Moisturize It:
Because castor oil can get rid of bacteria, fungus and stimulate growth do to it's natural properties, it will help make room for the hair to for grow.  Those negative things will block areas of your scalp to suppress and hinder growth.  Using it for hot oil treatments, to massage the scalp and to moisturize will help the hair tremendously in so many ways beside thickening the hair.

My family have always used Haitian Black Castor Oil (HBCO) for years.  The way I know it was used, was of course...for the hair.  Other ways included: Used as a laxative, for massages, for healing and to get rid of skin infections.  It was not until a few years ago, I implemented this oil into my and my children's healthy hair regimen when Jamaican Black Castor Oil (JBCO) became well known in the hair world.  The oil is not new, it has been around for years and years from generation to generations.

I experienced post partum shedding twice, but used it during the second, because I was on a hair journey at the time.  It helped me a lot in moisturizing my scalp and to stimulate growth in those areas. I do not feel that it will "make" your hair grow, but it will "remove every hindrance" such as the bacteria, fungus, dry scalp, to allow and make room for the hair to grow and retain length.

I use it for hot oil treatments once a month when I shampoo my hair.  I'll lightly massage it onto my scalp during the week and/or as needed.  On my children, I have a Shea butter mixture that includes castor oil and extra virgin coconut oil to use on their scalp, edges and even on their hair ends.

There are several hair sites online that do sell Black Castor Oil!

How do you use castor oil in your hair regimen?

** Please Note: Do your research on anything that you use including oils on your hair and skin.

Switching To A New Hair Relaxer: Optimum Salon HairCare Amla Legend

I was recently sent a package from SoftSheen Carson to try out some items from their new product line: Optimum Salon Haircare's Amla Legend.  The package included a relaxer kit (no-lye) and a hair & scalp serum.  Of course, I opened everything and smelled them.  Immediately after I smelled the products, I was really amazed.  Everything including the relaxer had such a pleasant scent.  Hair relaxers usually have a "chemical" scent and even after neutralizing, shampooing, deep conditioning etc., sometimes the "chemical" smell still lingers on the hair.  But this one certainly did not.  Also, the relaxer did not require it to be mixed before application.

Many of you know that I have been using Revlon's Fabulaxer No-Lye Relaxer for years.  I will tell you how long....almost 16 years!  I only ventured out twice before in the past, trying a different relaxer and did not like them.  But do not quote me on this...I also recently heard that it will be discontinued.

I applied the new relaxer and did the whole "ritual" (the term they use).  After drying and flat ironing, I was very pleased with the results.  My scalp did not burn, my hair felt great and it felt amazingly moisturized.  I have been married to Fabulaxer for a long time, but it is time to let it go.  So this is my new relaxer, the Optimum Salon Haircare's Amla Legend.  I plan on trying their other products such as the shampoo and conditioner, etc. and see if it would affect, change and/or enhance my current hair regimen.

The Optimum Amla Legend relaxer kit included:

*Scalp Protector Pre-treatment
*No Mix Relaxer
*Neutralizing Shampoo
*Conditioner
*Oil Moisturizer
*Instructions
*Stick for relaxer application
*Plastic gloves








According to the instructions, it is made for all hair types and it also advises on the processing times for each type:

               

The Hair and scalp serum, "Billion Hair Potion" also smelled wonderful too.  This serum was not oily, but more liquid and seemed to dissolve right onto the scalp.  It is to be used twice a day.  If you put too much, your hair will end up wet.  What I also liked about it, is that the bottle comes with a top that is a dropper.  It makes it easy to apply the product onto the scalp.  This item is to promote thicker, fuller hair and conditions it too.  And again, I will add that this also smells wonderful too!

                           

I do not recommend any one switching their relaxer too often because different relaxers will have a variation of different ingredients and it may/will cause damage to the hair. I had a friend that used a different relaxer almost every other relaxer service just because she found it on sale.  Was her hair damaged? Yes, her hair had become weak and thin.  She also relaxed her hair every six weeks, but did a halo touch up (relaxing just the edges), every two weeks so she can have that sleek look all the time.

Please keep in mind that results will vary and this may work for you or not work for you.  For me, it has worked great so far and I am happy with it.

I did a video review on the item, my results and officially claiming that Optimum Salon Haircare's Amla Legend No Lye Relaxer is my new relaxer, which you are more than welcome to check it out.



As always, God bless and we'll chat later!

Post Partum Hair Shedding: Is It Normal?

My daughter, MadiMel and I (2005)

The first time I went through Post Partum Hair Shedding, I was disturbed, bothered and even upset.  I was warned by many women I knew, including my mother by backing it up with horror stories and myths.  But I was not "educated" as to why it was happening about 4 months after giving birth.  My edges were gone and I had a severe widow's peak to match.

Let us fast forward to the beginning of my hair journey.  I started learning how to care for my and my daughter's hair which led me to educate myself about hair care, products and techniques that would help to gain and maintain healthy hair.  In the process, 
I learned more about Post Partum Hair Shedding too.  Thanks to my husband's awesome idea of having another child, we became pregnant and I was already armed with knowledge.

I had found and visited the site American Pregnancy Association to read more about Post Partum Hair Shedding.  It was more understanding because every thing that was laid out in the article made a lot of sense.

Here is what I gathered from reading about this "normal" issue that some women have after giving birth.

Telogen Effluvium is when there is excessive hair shedding from the resting phase that is caused by numerous factors including childbirth which is being discussed here.

With an average person:  Most of your hair is growing at one time and about 10% of it goes into a resting phase.  The hair that are in the resting phase eventually falls out which is then replaced by new hairs.  

With a pregnant woman:   Due to the rise in hormones during pregnancy, "more than an usual amount of hair" goes into a resting phase.  An average of 40-50% of women are affected, but it is only temporary.

I can assure that some of you who had given birth, experienced thick and luxurious hair.  Because of our friend estrogen, who plays a big role in the delayed process of the resting phase; roughly 3-4 months post delivery, the body's hormones tries to reach a point of equilibrium.  While your body is trying to get back to it's normal pre-pregnancy state, the hair that went into the resting phase falls out....almost all at once in a short period of time.  Remember that I mentioned earlier....during pregnancy, more hair is in a resting phase.  Therefore, more hair will shed.  This is the reason why it seems as though some of you and including myself had tumbleweeds of hair on our bathroom floors after having our beautiful blessings of joy.

Pros: This is only temporary.  It does not happen with every woman after child birth.  Keep in mind that every woman is different and every pregnancy is different.  There are those who never experienced it at all.  For example, my friend Traycee (of Keep It Simple Sista hair blog) never experienced Post Partum Hair Shedding after giving birth to any of her sons, whereas, it has happened to me...twice. 

Other things that can cause excessive shedding due to hormones:

* Discontinuation of most contraceptives
* An abortion
* Miscarriage/stillbirth (Missed Abortion)

If you experience Post Partum Hair Shedding, here are some things that has worked for me which I hope works for you as well.  Most of the things mentioned below should also be done during pregnancy too.  I also posted a short Video about it too.

• Patience
• Accept and deal with it
• Using methods as to not cause stress to the hair: no tight ponytails, cornrows and other styles alike
• Protein treatments: to keep the hair I have on my head strong
• Moisturize my scalp and edges with Castor Oil
• Cowashed more, to keep the hair moisturized
• Detangling the hair once a week: This helps to remove the shedded hair so it will not cause the hair to be become more tangled.
• More protective styles (this keeps to help from over manipulating the hair)
• Exercise
• Taking vitamins (prenatal or regular supplemental - be sure to consult doctor)
• Drinking water and having a healthy diet
• Stress less: Organize yourself better, keeping away from negativity and handling it accordingly, allow faith to help you focus your energy on important things

What other things might you suggest?  What was your experience(s) with Post Partum Hair Shedding if you went through it?  How did you maintain your hair?

(Please Note:  I am not an expert nor a doctor. Everything written above is due to things I have read, researched and which helped me understand what I was going through.   If your hair shedding persists, please see a professional because there may be other underlying factors/causes.)

Thanks so much for reading!

-Sdestra

Winter Hair Care Tips

My daughter at 5 months (2005)

As the different seasons transition from one to the next...the way we dress, our activities and even our diet changes too. (I would say it has a lot to do with being indoors and the abundance of food during the festive holidays.) 

With these few adjustments we would want to also consider maintaining the health of the hair. Wanting the hair to stay healthy is one thing, but doing something about it is another. In general, consistency and patience are key to a successful hair journey. While we may have great products that cater to our hair needs, we also need to adjust to our environments to maintain the health of our hair.

Moisture, moisture and moisture
Throughout this post, MOISTURE will be mentioned a lot! Moisturizing the hair is not just limited to the summer, but also recommended for the winter too. Between the extreme temperatures of the indoors and outdoors, moisturizing enough will help the hair to stay nourished. Many of us can agree that hair does thrive on well moisturized hair.

Deep Condition/ Cowash more often
Many of our workplaces, schools, homes are heated with artificial heat and can therefore dry the hair along with the cold brisk air outside.  Shampooing less and conditioning/cowashing more will keep the moisture the hair needs to withstand the changes in the environment. After shampooing, sometimes there is a stripping feeling to the hair where following up with a moisturizing conditioner is a must.

Oils & Hot Oil Treatments
A great way to moisturize the hair is to do a hot oil treatment before washing to restore the moisture your hair is losing. Massaging oils onto the scalp, mixing it with shampoos, conditioners help seal in the moisture the hair needs to stay healthy. Not only do oils moisturize the hair and body, but different ones do have several beneficial factors. Research the oils to see what best fits your healthy hair and skin needs.  (For those who are pregnant: Please do your research before using ANY OIL, know the effects of using them, the pros and cons to your changing body during this miraculous time.)

Moisturizing Hair Products
In some cases, you may have to use a product(s) that will do a lot for the hair this winter season. Something that may have been a bit too heavy for the summer, may be great for the winter.  Use a sufficient amount of moisturizing products your hair consumes to balance the amount of needed to keep your tresses quenched.

Wash-N-Go’s
Many love the “Wash-‘N-Go’s" or wearing the hair slightly damp.  It is a simple, low maintenance style.  Being that it is now colder outside, let us remind ourselves that one can get extremely sick by wearing their hair wet in those types of temperatures. Another reason why you would not want to do a Wash ‘N Go during colder months, is to not experience the hair freezing, drying and breaking.

Protective styling

We wear warmer, thicker clothing. With protective style, the hair will not rub as much on the sweaters that will cause hair dryness. Tucking your hair ends away during the harsh weather season will keep your hair from damage while staying moisturized. Not to mention that they are beautiful, you can also have fun with different styles to enhance the beauty of your hair.

Using less to NO heat
Using heat will help the cold air cause more dryness to the hair. This is where protective styling and moisturizing more comes into play too. Using indirect heat such as using a hooded dryer for roller sets is a good way to using less penetrating heat versus a using a flat iron. There are many heat-free hairstyles that can work for you.

Scarves & Hats: Making them friendly for your hair

During the winter we wear scarves, hats and sweaters that are made with fabrics such as wool and cotton. For example, wool tends to dry out the tresses and also pull on the hair causing slow breakage. The areas that tend to get affected the most are the edges and the nape of the neck. To avoid these types of problems, you can line the hat with a satin or silk fabric as a barrier to protect the hair. If you are not crafty, you can simply tie a scarf around the head prior to putting on the hat. Putting the hair up while wearing a scarf will also aid in keeping the hair healthy. The more protected the hair from these elements, the less damage you will sustain.

Stick to what works for you

There are several ideas when it comes to hair care. But remember to always stick to what works for you! If you have an awesome hair care regimen to help your hair combat the evil forces of nature during the winter, then you should do well!

What tips would you like to share in regards to the colder months and what products, techniques and methods has worked for you?

"That's That Stuff I Don't Like" (Hair Bloggers Edition)

The lovely Tathiana, the blogger of My Pound Cake, came up with an idea to do a bloggers edition on stuff that we don't like.  Many of you may be familiar with several YouTube Tags on the same topic sharing their pet peeves.  This should be fun and tell me if you share any of my pet peeves! 

That's That Stuff I Don't Like....

1. I do not like the phrase "mixed hair".  Everyone has mixed hair because of the several hair types we have on our head.  What is mixed hair?  I thought we all, as a human race have straight, curly, kinky or tightly coiled hair.  Maybe, SOME people who are biracial tend to fall in a category with a certain hair type, but to me, it would not be "mixed" hair.  Then I'm mixed since I have 4 gazillion hair types on my head.

2. I do not like when a product worked on my hair and it made it look amazing!  Then next time, it makes my hair look like crap, even if I used it the same exact way.

3. I do not like to spend a lot of money on hair products. I am one of those who will pick up the product, check out the price, look at it and start thinking of all my uses of the products.  I go through a mental list of 100 reasons why I need it and a list of 5 reasons why I do not.  I put it back down on the shelf, walk away. Then I charge down the aisle to find myself picking it up again, to get to the register and tell the cashier that I will not buy it while he/she is ringing up my purchases.

4. I do not like when I get questioned by cashiers for the hair products I purchase, such as VO5 and/or Herbal Essence's products.  "I thought that was only for white people..." Yes it does work for many of us too!

5. I do not like negative comments from people I know who thinks documenting my "hair journey" is silly and pathetic.  But then come to me later for hair advice.  I'll let you guess if I actually help them.

6. I do not like after I do my daughter's hair, she complains about the way just ONE twist falls over her head. 

7. I do not like when I get comments that my hair is long because my mom has long hair and therefore my daughter will also have long hair.  Hair length is not hereditary. There are many who never had long hair in their families, but acquired long hair because of their healthy hair journies.

8. I do not like when I have no clue what to do with my hair, especially if I am going out with friends or my husband. I want to look hot!

9. I do not like RANDOM people touching my hair, I do not know you, so kick rocks and bounce.  Do not just ram your fingers into my scalp without even having the audacity to ask.  Last time someone did that, her hand was smacked hard...and it happened in church too ;-)!  Don't bother to touch my childrens' hairs too...we are going to fight!

10. I do not like when I am told that I do not look Haitian because my hair is long...and that Haitian people have short, brillo pad looking hair.  Stop watching TV all the time and believe everything you see.  Black people all over the earth come in all colors of the spectrum along with different types of hair.  Everyone is beautiful!

That's That Stuff I Don't Like...

I originally started tagging bloggers, but consider all of you tagged, especially if you are a hair blogger!

What's the stuff that you don't like?

Weekend Trip and Hair (Keeping It Simple)

Wedding at The Grove in NJ (Dress Made by Me)

I took a trip to New Jersey recently to celebrate my sister's birthday and to attend my cousin's wedding all in one weekend. 

My mother and brother flew in from Tampa, FL around the time my flight arrived into New Jersey.   My sister still lives there and my dad was already in town.

Of course I wanted to pig out and eat everything I missed...lol.  So I did...not everything I wanted, but I did.  It was bad of me, but I am back on track again!

I enjoyed my time with my sister and other relatives during her birthday celebration. And my cousin's wedding...all I can say is wow! Just beautiful, classy and it matched who she is, elegant.  I have a few photos from the wedding on my Instagram which you can view by (clicking here).

Now let me tell you before I even prepared for my trip, one of my concerns included my hair.  I just did not know what to do with it AT ALL.  I was not sure if I wanted to wear it up, straight, curled or anything...I just wanted to do everything to it.  So this was the original plan I came up with:

Day 1:
Wash & condition
Blow dry
Put it in a neat low bun using a sock bun
Before bed, dampen my hair, apply conditioner and do plaits

Day 2:
Wear a braid out
Wear it in a high bun for my sister's event later

Day 3 (morning of wedding):
Wash & condition
Blow dry
Flat iron to curl my hair

That was my hair plan for the weekend and I was gunho about doing this.  Then as the day of my departure started to approach...those plans with my hair were totally ridiculous...it really sounded ridiculous and was too much to do.  Let us add that I had to prepare some things for the husband, kids, do their hairs (remember, I am also growing my son's hair out), to make sure they were going to be comfortable while I am gone.  So my hair plans changed to this:

Day 1:
Wash & condition
Airdry
Pull my hair into a high loose bun (no braid out, no sock bun)
Used a a minimal amount of moisturizer for my edges and hair ends

Day 2:
A loose french braid
Later, flat ironed it straight on low heat (it was perfect for the evening look for my sister's event)
Before bed, moisturized my hair with Elasta QP Mango Butter
Rolled my hair with 6 flexi rods

Day 3 (day of wedding):
Finger combed my hair and did a side part

So much easier, low manipulation, did not use a lot of heat but just to flat iron.  I also did hair styles that would not leave too many creases in my hair in order for me to flat iron it easily.  As a result, I was able to wear 3 different hair styles for the weekend and use heat just one time! 

I was so glad I did it that way, otherwise I would have been a mess and would not have time to enjoy myself.  I was out late at my sisters event until an undisclosed time and then had to be at the wedding location at 9 am the next morning to assist my cousin (the bride) and the wedding party.  I went to the location with the flexi rods and a scarf.   I got dressed and took my hair down, finger combed and kept it moving during the time I assisted the bridal party.

This is reminder as to why keeping it simple is key.  I think when we do go on a trips, or any event we tend to make things so complicated.  We also tend to think of doing things that are over the top that will require a lot more "work" to achieve a certain look.  I think our goal is to look our best, impeccable and "fly" (yes, it is an old idiom).  We can still do that without putting our hair through the ringer or come up with creative ways to come up with that certain "look".

How have you tried to keep it simple for an event, during a vacations and/or trip?  Did your hair plans change before or during?  Or did you make things complicated for yourself and regretted it after the fact?

I am curious to know and please share your suggestions!

Daughter's Hair: A Natural Hair Journey

Hey All!

A lot of you are familiar with my daughter, MadiMel who has very coarse hair and the length of her hair is almost down to her waist for her current height. 

For those of you who did not or do not know, I started my daughter, MadiMel's natural hair journey at the end of 2007.  This was when my sister in law told me about Fotki, a photo sharing site, where so many women documented their hair journies and share information.  I became fascinated and fell in love with the idea of taking care of our own hairs since I was on my own healthy hair journey.  It also meant that I would be saving so much money in the process!  Prior to MadiMel's proper hair care routine, I did so many things to her hair that probably would have made her scalp length right now.  We are talking about the use of Vaseline, tight rubberbands, hard brushed, bands with metal prongs, etc.  But I was left with was dryness and and damaged edges and ends. I was using Johnson & Johnson's baby shampoo to wash her hair.

 

MadiMel was born with a full head of curls and over time they started becoming dry as her true texture starting coming through.  At first and prior the major hair care change, I was using Johnson & Johnson's Baby Shampoo.  I changed her shampoo while looking at some of the natural sisters regimens on Fotki.  Added natural oils to her routine and moisturizers.  I started to incorporate healthier techniques....after a while, I noticed that her hair started flourished.   I rarely used the rubber bands, I learned a technique to comb her hair, I learned to cornrow and most importantly...I learned more about patience. I always say that if you have patience, you waste less time than if you rushed.

 

I felt that it was also important to start her healthy hair journey too since I was on my own.  As she grows and matures, she will in turn learn techniques until she cares for her hair completely on her own.  But for now, my stance is to let her see what I do with her hair so she can be armed with knowledge.  

 

I will have future posts about her hair journey, techniques and styles!  Stay tuned for more of MadiMel beside myself of course!

Watch our video I posted today!

 

 

 

Reunited And It Feels So Good!

Original Mango Butter

I reunited with one of my favorite hair products,

...Elasta QP's Mango Butter...

According to the official Elasta QP website, the Mango Butter is a moisturizer that:

• Penetrates, protects and remoisturizes, leaving hair strong and healthy
• Olive and coconut oils target dry ends and help prevent damage
• Shine-enhancing, non-greasy formula
• Intensely rich thermal protecting treatment

I was introduced to the Mango Butter a few years ago and fell in love with it.  That was before Olive Oil was added.

When we come across a new product we either ignore it or pay attention to it. When we do pay attention...we want it, get it and push the old product to the side for reasons such as:  the new product works better, we want to try something new, less ingredients and/or we just want to change products.  Nothing wrong with that, you never know what will work for you unless you explore.

I left the Mango Butter alone when I was told about and exposed to a line of hair products.  A plus for me was that the products were all natural, but for some reason it did not do its job...well, because of the hype that it was receiving, I felt as if it did not live up to it's hype.   But I can not assume what works for others will work for me and vice versa. 

I will not say that because the hair product line was all natural, it did not work for my hair.  That is far from the truth.  My regimen consists of natural items that have worked for me during my hair journey.  Unfortunately, the products from that line did not do it for me.  So after I stopped using that hair product line, that is when I started using more basic natural items.  I am talking about 100% unrefined Shea butter mixes, organic extra virgin coconut oil, castor oil, etc. The products I use on my daughter’s natural hair to keep it moisturized is what I have been using too!  Even my protein treatments are all natural!  But let us get back to the point...

The Mango Butter has been in use, although I have not used it on my hair for a long time.  I even bought more because it ran out during my break up hiatus with the product.  My husband was always faithful to it though.  After introducing him to coconut oil to his shampoos to slow down his dry scalp issue (which worked amazingly), the Elasta QP Mango Butter has been a staple for him. It kept his  hair and scalp moisturized on a daily basis.

Mango Butter with Olive Oil

What did the Elasta QP Mango Butter do for me?

• It helped smooth, moisturize and lay my hair edges down without the use of gel.  And the gel would have not really kept my edges as moisturized.
• It kept my new growth (NG) manageable and soft.
• It was one of the few moisturizers that felt light on my hair when used in proper moderation.  A little bit will take you a long way in my honest opinion.
• It did not weigh my hair down nor cause too much build up if used they way I used it almost every day.
• It helped retain my hair ends too because of how well moisturized my hair ends were.
• It also smelled great! 

The Mango Butter is back in my hair care regimen! 


What beauty products used religiously, loved, stop using and started using again?  And did you ever wonder or ask yourself why you stopped using the product(s) in the first place or what were you even thinking?

Thanks for reading and God bless!