Updated Hair Regimens!

I finally updated our hair regimens!

Feel free to ask questions.

As far as my hair regimen, Mine is pretty much similar to when I was relaxed. Except that I don't use a relaxer anymore.  My hair is not long at the moment, but the top is since I have been growing that out more. But many of the techniques still work.

For MadiMel's hair regimen, it is pretty much the same. Some products have been added and some switched to new ones.  I will not say the replaced products didn't work anymore, it was time to try something different and it has worked just fine, probably a little better for her.

Keep in mind when you do create a hair regimen, use it as a guide. Don't let it guide you. There will be times, you will miss a wash day, deep conditioning and forget to moisturize your hair for a week. It's okay. Just get back right on track when you can. Trust me, I am not perfect with my hair regimen, but I still maintain what needs to be done when I can.  In essence, just practice healthy hair techniques and you are good to go. I feel that products enhance the beauty and health of your hair.

Sdestra's Natural Hair Regimen                               MadiMel's Natural Hair Regimen

Enjoy and God bless!

Family Dollar Fabulous Vlogger Event!

Family Dollar is presenting their 3rd Annual Family Dollar Fabulous event. Fabulous is a celebration of African-American women by highlighting how inner beauty combined with style translates to Fabulous, fantastic, and fashionable looks for less.

In the next two days...kicking off tomorrow, here in Atlanta...Family Dollar beauty brands once again take center stage with their interactive sessions. Top influencers of the beauty and fashion industry will attend this event.

I am excited to be a part of this event as a VIP blogger/vlogger. You can follow me to get the scoop of the happenings!

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter & Periscope...Sdestra.

My Child's Hair Stopped Growing - Another Reason Besides Breakage

My child's hair stopped growing.  
I hear that very often.

I wrote about this before, but elsewhere and never posted it here. Decided to share it with you all.

When I first started my daughter's hair journey, I thought the same at one point because it seemed as though her hair stayed stuck in one length for a while.  I thought it was because her hair was breaking. But her ends were always healthy.

Many of us who are currently on a hair journey went through the phase where we thought that the hair was not growing.  And many of us learned that the hair will always grow, it's just that maintenance and length retention was key to keep what has grown out of the scalp. 

But hair does grow unless there is an underlying medical condition hindering it.  We have to remember that the oldest part of the hair are the ends and we need to take care of it more. When the ends are not taken care of properly, it will slowly break off as fast as it is growing from the scalp.  Making it appear that the hair is not growing.

But what about our kids whose hair we take care of religiously?  We follow every routine in their hair regimen, moisturize every night, deep condition...etc.? But it seems as though he or she is stuck at one length.

The hair is still growing.  But with children....let us remember that they still go through a growth process and go through growth spurts as well.  As they grow taller, their height can take away from the length of the hair.

Being adults, we stop growing taller at around a certain age.  We stay the same height from then on.  During our hair journey, we will see the length fall at certain points on our bodies as long as we maintain it to retain it. 

My daughter is currently 10 years old. Her hair length has been toggling between below waist and tail bone length. It is not a big issue for me because I know how we have been working to maintain her hair length.  She is getting taller so I do not make her hair length an issue at this point.

In keeping track of your child's hair growth progress, I recommend that measuring the length of the hair, than to rely on where it sits on their body is better. Here are also factors to consider, your child's hair growth rate as well.  Side note: personally, mine grows less than half an inch per month.

Despite that, it is still important to continue to the healthy methods you have been using on your child's hair.

*Washing/Conditioning
*Cowash more and shampoo only as needed
*Combing from ends to roots with a wide tooth comb
*Moisturize the hair ends often or as needed
*Using Oils on the scalp to help promote healthy hair growth
*Using the LOC/LCO Method to help with moisture
*Avoid too much tension when braiding/styling
*Keep moisturizing and using protective styles to protect the hair ends and retain length
*Try not to use too much hair accessories with metal connectors or pieces that can snag the hair
*Using a satin scarf around their heads or have them sleep on a satin pillow case
*Try focusing on the health of your child's hair and the growth will be an added bonus
*Measure the hair instead of relying on where it falls on the back will protect youfrom discouragement & disappointment.
*KEEP YOUR CHILDREN HEALTHY!!!!! EAT RIGHT, STAY ACTIVE & TAKE VITAMINS!

Thanks for reading!

Blow Drying Natural Hair - Tension Method

I don't really blow dry my daughter's hair. It is on a rare ocassion when it is done.  But I usually stretch it out first to elongate her hair before styling.

Some people thought it took my hours to dry her hair because of the amount of it she has.  Actually, it takes me about 30 to 45 minutes.  The key to this is technique is to keep the hair parted.  From the time I wash her hair to blow drying it, I keep her hair parted in sections.  Those things help avoid tangling during each processes.  Each section is worked on at a time and results in a quick and effortless process with everything.

The tension method works well for us because I do not have to use a comb attachment to dry her hair.  Using a comb attachment adds more stress to the hair.  Pulling, possibly tangles and breakage as well.

Basically, a section of hair is held down firmly while the blow dryer is run up and down the length of the hair using low heat.  Cool setting can be used as well.

Below is the video on how I do it, products used and results.

My Natural Hair Journey So Far

It has definitely been a while!

Making my story short, family was my priority during the past few months. Always been a priority, but focusing on the children, academics and activities.  Although I have been active on Instagram, that was an easier way to quickly post and keep it going.

Blog posting and Youtube, I scaled back on it for a while. But I thank you for your support on the other social media outlets I am on.

The only thing I want to say is that I have been loving my hair. The natural journey and my tapered hair cut.  I plan on letting it all grow out next year, but for now, I wanted to enjoy a certain look. And that look has been my signature look for a while. The tapered afro. 

I can no longer call it a TWA anymore because I do have about 6-7 inches on the top of my head.

I do see the barber regularly for my cuts and he has been great every time.
When I decide to completely grow it out, I will share the news. But for now, I'm enjoying this ride with this look and the fun I'm having with it.

I will be sharing my twist out techniques and new hair regimen as well once that is in place and organized. It hasn't really changed much from when I was relaxed.

I will share more soon. But for now, a pic of my healthy hair journey so far.  Stay tuned.

Sponge Curls On Natural Hair - Using A Sponge To Create "Curls" Within Minutes

Recently, a follower had commented that she curls her natural hair within a few minutes by doing Sponge Curls.  So I researched it a bit and found a video which I have posted below. 

Basically it is a sponge with holes which captures hair strands as you rotate it around the head, causing your natural "curls" to become defined.  It gives it beautiful textured look.  I honestly think it is very innovative.

There are a few brands out there and some people had created their own by cutting holes into sponges.

I know during my relaxed hair journey, so many on their personal journey were avoiding the sponge rollers like the plague.  It was understood that the sponge dries the hair, and also snags it too.  That can cause slow breakage.

My thing is, would it cause "damage" to the hair if used too often?

Would it be beneficial to use if you want to achieve curls in minutes, but trying to grow your hair out.  If someone plans on keeping their hair cut low, then I can see how it can be used often.  By the time their next barber visit comes around, the hair that sustained the rotation of the sponge is gone due to a fresh cut.  So therefore, there might not be room to create and have damaged hair .  I can see how it can be great for some though.  But I am just speculating.

Since I am not so pressed on growing my hair out right now, and get a few trims for another month or two before I grow it out. I would definitely give it a try for a while.  It would be my emergency go to hair tool.

Would you give it a try?

The "Curl Sponge"

Before And After Photo Using the Curl Sponge

The "Curl Sponge" Instagram To See Results

Got My TWA Tapered and Love It !

The Process of Getting My Hair Tapered

This past Sunday, I went to a barber shop and got my hair tapered.  The afro was cute, but the tapered look was more me.  When I called the barber shop, I was already armed with some photos.  Luckily the barber also cut/shape-up women's hair on a regular basis just as he does men's hair.  He told me to wash my hair, put no product and blow dry it out.  And do not cover my head so I don't press my hair down. That way, he doesn't have to pull on my hair so much when he combs it out and he can get a more precise cut. 

When I got there, I was not nervous but so eager to sit in that chair.  I kept staring at the photos that I had screenshots of.  10 minutes later, I finally sat in his chair and he hooked me up lovely. 30 minutes later, I was done. He told me when I wash my hair, it will shrink up and I will see the actual look I was going for.  I went home, cowashed and was extremely pleased with the results as it started to get into it's "natural" state. 

I decided that I may keep the sides and back tapered for a while and let the top grow out.  I love it, it is fun and new.  I also can't keep my hands out of my hair either!  I am loving my hair and it is going to be a fun journey although I have to go through this "trial and error" phase with hair products.
 
Thanks so much for reading!

After The Big Chop - Newly Natural

Hi lovelies!  I finally posted my video on my reaction after doing the Big Chop and cutting my transition process short.  Also in the video, I did not style my hair at all so you can see what it looked like after I big chopped.  I did not want to scramble and try to make it look pretty for the video, I want you to see the real deal.  I always want to be realistic with what I present.  At the end of the video, I had a little more hair cut.  Enjoy!


Thank you so much for watching!

Transitioning Hair Journey is Over: The "Big Chop" Happened

Some of you already saw my "New Hair" photo on my Facebook fan page and/or on my Instagram Page.

My Transitioning Hair Journey is over. 

It was going to happen sooner or later that I was going to cut it off. 
No clipping here and there until the relaxed hair was gone.

I big chopped.  It was done.  Full gusto.  No Regrets.

I was annoyed with my hair and felt I couldn't do much with it because of the hassle of handling the new growth and natural hair.  It was time for it to go. 

The photo below was right after the cut. I still have some relaxed ends I need to cut off.  Just patted it down a bit just to take a photo after the initial cut. I wanted something to compare it to in the future .

This is a new journey I wanted to try out, not because I was tired of getting relaxers. I had a successful relaxed hair journey and I don't all-of-a-sudden hate relaxers. And I will still have relaxer advice if you need it . It is always okay to try something different in anything in life...agree? It will grow back, "Ain't stressin' over here." 

 

I have so much to learn about my hair. What it likes, what it doesn't like and styling.  I'm just ready to have fun and enjoy this new journey.

I will have an "After The Big Chop" reaction video posted after the Thanksgiving weekend.  But for now, check out my Big Chop video.  My daughter MadiMel, helped me cut it off and she was elated...LOL.

 

Thanks for watching and watch me grow during my new hair journey!

Relaxed Haired, Weaved & Wig Wearing Mothers: "You Are A Poor Example For Your Daughter"

Do you take care of your daughter(s) as well as you take care of yourself? If yes, then you are an awesome mother!

 

Who is there to judge you?

 

I thought it would be frowned upon if you as a mom were well groomed all the time, but your child looks neglected most of the time. Or if your lifestyle choices were not so healthy for their mental and physical growth...then I can see how the phrase, "bad example" would apply.

Over time and now more recently, I have been getting several to many emails from mothers about this topic.  Many of these mothers are getting bad mouthed or insulted for having relaxed hair, wear a hair weave or wig while their daughter(s) have natural hair.  I do have relaxed hair and my daughter has natural hair.  No big deal. Our hairs are healthy respectively and I don't see a "problem".  Really, I don't.  I honestly did not ever want to post anything about this topic, but felt maybe a person can benefit from it.

 

I too have been called a poor example as a mother, from people I personally know. I have gotten snide comments too. Back handed compliments: "You have pretty hair, but you should cut it all off and go natural for your daughter". And several social media outlets, I was told that I should not be giving hair advice to mothers with natural haired children.  But I still do and my lovely ladies benefit.

 

A while back, someone had questioned me about how I would have handled a situation if my daughter asked to be relaxed.  I went into a whole explanation about how I raise my daughter.  I sounded like I was being defensive to prove how well and how I plan on raising her. Thinking about it now, it was unnecessary to explain myself.  I was the idiot and sounded pathetic for doing that and giving this individual my time.

*Have my daughter asked for her hair to be relaxed?  Not yet and if she asks, I will ask her why.
 

*Has she asked for her hair to be STRAIGHTENED? Her answer to my "why" question: "I just want to see what it looks like straight."

I agree that hair can be an example for a young girl as far as grooming routine or styling choices. I also feel that it is okay for children to be curious with their question, you ask them why and go from there. Many say that when they ask for their hair to be straightened or relaxed, they have self-esteem challenges and it is our fault because of what we portray ourselves as. Huh? That is not the only ONE REASON why a young girl wants to have their hair straightened, weaved or relaxed.  It does not mean that the only reason why she asked is because she has identity challenges and that it is the fault of the mother.

What about outside exposure, influence and being around their peers that can trigger these thoughts and questions?

On another note, mothers who have decided to "transition" or "big chopped" to go natural, do it for different reasons that are relative to themselves.  I have heard reasons from them admiring their own daughter's hair, to them wanting to try something new.

But I do not feel that hair is the ONLY way to be a good example for a child...let us be a good example all around. Give your children the whole package.

 

How about these situations? 

• I received an email from a natural haired mother almost a year ago whose daughter asked to get her hair relaxed because she likes her friend's relaxed hair.
• An email from a mother who has very loose natural curls and her daughter has tightly coiled hair. Her daughter is upset that she doesn't have hair like hers.
• I read about a mother who is suffering from early balding and has to wear a wig, but her 13 year old daughter wants to wear one too.

So to my lovely mothers who have sent and been sending me messages in regards to this issue for over quite some time (although I did answer them)....pick your battles and keep being the awesome mother that you are.  Take care of your children, keep them well rounded and be a good positive role model the best way you know how.  Keep doing you.

And to the lovely mothers who want to give a side eye to a relaxed, weaved up or wig wearing mother, please stop. There is a way to give constructive criticism without cheap shots.  Divert those eyes to your beautiful children and be a positive example for them.
 

And what good example is one being if they are tearing another mother down because of her hair choices?  We have to do better ladies!

Thanks for reading, we'll chat soon!

Blow Drying The Hair Using The Tension Method

How I blow dry my hair, this video was recorded WEEKS & WEEKS ago. I was 8 weeks post at the time. Finally sat down and edited it. I don't like long videos and try to keep them under 6 minutes. This one is under 4 minutes long & straight to the point. Enjoy!

31 Weeks Post Relaxer - Transitioning Hair Regimen

31 Weeks Post Relaxer!  
This is not an easy hair journey at all !!!! 

Especially when you are transitioning to natural, relatively speaking.  Not only do I have to deal with my relaxed hair on my head, but also the several hair types/textures of my new growth.  So I have about 3 different hair textures/types of natural hair....and let us count the straight relaxed hair at the ends!

31 Weeks Post Relaxer

 

My hair journey has been a frustrating one.....from time to time.  I knew it was not going to be simple and easy.  I noticed that I experienced a lot more tangles with the RELAXED hair as my NATURAL hair grows longer. The areas that were the worst were the relaxed hair that was attached to the tighter natural hair strands.  I do have rough times with it.  I am not going to give you a fairy tale story on how perfect it is, because it is not.  But I have been managing so far with so much patience.

I definitely look forward to seeing what is in store for me when I do become fully natural.  I've been there and done that with my relaxed hair journey as I mentioned before and in video.  I am currently and still MBL (mid back length); the longest hair length I have ever been in my life.  The longest prior to that was APL (arm pit length) which was pre hair journey, pre-haircut in 2007.  I was going to try for WL (waist length) as I transition, but right now, I do not feel that there is a point.

As far as my new growth, when I comb through it with conditioner, it is absolutely a joy to deal with.  Goes through so smooth and....wow!!!  But when it comes to the relaxed hair at the ends, it tangles up so quickly.  Combing the new growth which has a spiral pattern to it will twirl as you comb, causing the straight hair attached to it to twirl simultaneously.  As a result, the relaxed hair latches onto the other straight relaxed hair.  Does that make sense? I do hope so...  But that is what I have experienced at times if I do not use enough conditioner to give it that "slip".  And it happens combing from the bottom up because all of the hair is not the same.  But with patience and due diligence, I manage well.

Hair shedding? Normal shedding for me.  I was shedding more about 16 weeks post.  But since, it has subsided a lot. 

Breakage? Some breakage, not much to be concerned with.  I have been keeping up with my protein treatments, deep condition and handled my hair with as much gentle care as possible.

Thinning? My relaxed hair looks thin when it is wet compared to the natural hair.  Looks like I am holding on to "thinning" hair when it is not really thin.

Edges? My edges looks good.  I keep them moisturized and I smooth them down with a scarf and hands as much as I can.  So much less use of a brush.  If I do use one, it is a very soft brush.

Hair Regimen?  I have pretty much kept the same hair care routine/regimen as I have always done when my hair was fully relaxed. 

* I part my hair in 6-8 sections. 
* I detangle with conditioner and oil.
* I wash in sections and in the shower as the hair is still in its' down position.
* I do protein treatments every 6 weeks using the ApHogee Protein treatment.  That is to avoid breakage at the demarcation line (where the relaxed and new growth meets).
* I have been clipping/trimming my ends each month.  A little less than half an inch, to avoid having split ends traveling up the hair shaft.
* I cowash more than I shampoo, same as I did before. 
* I keep my hair styles very basic, loose buns, sock buns, loose French Braids, or a simple ponytail pulled to the side or back. 
* I still moisturize!

With the exception of the hair relaxer being removed from my hair regimen, here are the minor changes.  Keep in mind that as I gain more natural hair, some things will change.  But so far, so good, I have been able to stay consistent with most of my products for now.  I moisturize my new growth and ends a little more than before and that seems to keep my hair feeling and looking healthy.

Some changes:

* I started doing the ACV (Apply Cider Vinegar) Rinse on my hair when I only see build up. The ACV rinse is a good way to clarify to remove product build up.  It is natural too. 

* And I also use Aloe Vera Gel to smooth my edges too.

* I have also been using the S-Curl "No Drip Activator" to spray my new growth.  It works beautifully and helps my natural hair "pop".  For me, it doesn't leave so much build up, which I actually expected at first, but I do not use a lot of it in the first place.

Here is the link to view my current regimen.  So far it has been working for me.
Transitioning Hair Regimen

Thanks so much for reading!

Stretching Hair Without Heat - "Banding Method" Video

Want to be able to manage your child's natural hair? Especially when he/she has so much shrinkage? Here's a video on one of the ways I stretch my daughter's hair without using heat. The "Banding Method."

My daughter has major shrinkage and I think it shrinks about 75% when completely dry in it's natural state.  It is challenging and frustrating to manage at times.  Most of the time, I stretch her hair after washing it to make it more manageable to work with.

There are several was to stretch the natural hair without heat.  I share one of them in this video.  This video was also narrated by my daughter, MadiMel since it is about her hair.  Please support her, she wants to do her own videos with my help!  Hope this video is helpful!

Here are the items we used in the video.  You can get them at a local beauty supply store or Sally's.  There are also online websites to purchase hair accessories.

The hair bands were purchased at a local beauty supply store.  
They look like this: Hair Bands & Shower Comb

Thank you so much and God Bless! We'll chat soon!

I'm Transitioning to Natural!

It has been a very long time since I have posted anything here. Basically I have been tied up with my daughter's online schooling and preparing her for the standardized test. Those were priorities.
Now that it is over, I am back...

I am back with news too...

I am transitioning! Simple as that. Nothing out the ordinary, it is because I just want to try something different.  I have gone back and forth with it for a very long time. Wanted to cut my hair short, etc. But hey, why not do it now. And I have two of my "sisters" doing it too, Traycee of KISS and EbonyCPrincess of Longing4Length. We talked about it and had versatile reasons as to why.  For each of us, our reasons are valid, and to each of us, the other's reasons are valid because we totally understand.

I am transitioning because I want to try something new.  I am in that, "been there, done that" phase of my hair journey with relaxed hair. I am not doing this because it is "the thing" or that my hair is damaged. Natural hair, why not?
I am currently 6 weeks post relaxer, not much to show right now as far as transitioning ideas yet, but they are coming soon. And I will have some pictures of my hair texture from older photos when I did long stretches in my next post/video.
Watch my video below and also check out Traycee's and Ebony's video links listed below.

EbonyCPrincess' Video 

& 

Traycee's Video

 Thank you for your support, follow me, watch me or join the ride! Take care and God bless!

Merry Christmas Lovelies!

I want to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful and happy holiday!  I was going to do a dinner party over at my place since I do love to cook, but I changed my mind. Going to just cook for my little family, watch movies, have wine and relax. I need it.

This year, I didn't feel like wrapping each individual gift, so I did something I thought was awesome. Each child was given a big gift wrapped box with several gifts in it that were small enough to fit in there.  I simply piled colorful tissue paper over and around each gift.  It worked out great and they were able to use those boxes to throw in their trash with the exception of other large gifts that didn't fit in there.

Work smarter, not harder right?

Enjoy your day, remember why we are a celebrating Christmas...♡♡♡

God bless you all and we'll chat soon!

Determining Hair Length And Landmarks On Your Body

Where does your hair fall on the chart?

People have different body types, long and short torsos too. I have a shorter torso than the length of my legs and I am 5'4. Although I am mid back length (MBL) at the fullest part of my hair, I am almost grazing waist length (WL) at the same time.

Waist Length example:

For some one who is 6 feet tall, it may take longer for him/her to reach WL if we both started with bald heads and our hair grew at the same exact rate.

While we're on WL, not many people know where their waist is, and it is around the navel area all the way around. Because everyone is shaped differently, determining where the waist can be challenging. For example, I do have curves and there is about a 15 inch difference between my waist and hip area.  Before starting my hair journey, I always thought my waist was right above my hips...meaning it was around the bikini line.  I was totally wrong because it was actually higher.

Are You Really Bra Strap Length:

Being Bra Strap Length (BSL) seems to be an important landmark on your body. It's almost a mid point and a point where people feel if their hair is long or not. Either you're almost there or past it.

I know many of us vary in size when it comes to our lovely lady lumps (breasts). I have seen where women who are or claim bra strap length claim it improperly (in my opinion). Are you wearing the right bra? Is the bra fitting you properly?

• A person may have their bra sitting too low for their body and they are really BSL.
• A person may have their bra sitting too high for their body and they are not BSL.
• A person may ALSO have their bra on all wrong on their body and may be MBL...go figure?

See the difference?

Looking at People's Personalized Hair Journies:

Many of us on hair journies document our lengths by putting a chart together as we go along to see and share our personal progress. But that is relative to the person who put it together and so is mine:

• Don't look at someone else's hair length and expect to be at certain points they've reached at certain time lengths. (You will most likely disappoint yourself).

• Do you know where the different land marks fall on YOUR OWN body?  Consider your body shape and size; hair length landmarks will be relative to you.

• The average hair growth rate per month is about half an inch. This is AVERAGE. But some people will have a faster rate and others a slower rate like I do.

• What is your level of patience when it comes to meeting your own length goals?

Here's a video that my "boo thang" Traycee did on determing hair lengths which we also discussed recently and agreed on so many points: The Big Debate About Hair Lengths

What would you like to add?

Happy Growing and we'll chat soon!

Side note:
For health reasons first, get fitted for the right bra for the right support. And if you're length conscious, it will make a difference as to what you really are with your hair too.

Twisted FroHawk on MadiMel's Natural Hair (Mohawk/Fauxhawk)

I had posted a photo of my daughter, MadiMel's hair on Instagram, Facebook and other sites and it has become popular.  I saw the same or similar hair style on so many different sites, many different times, etc. And I know that so many people have done it themselves. I came across a few people whho stopped me and asked about her hair style.  I gave them my Youtube channel information and told them a video will be posted soon.

It was one morning, I did not feel like doing much with her hair after being styled in a bun.  It seemed too much to deal with and I woke up tired.  I decided to try out the style on her hair since she was in between hair styles anyway. And the results were good.  MadiMel is at that age where she is becoming picky, so when she saw this style, she fell in love and couldn't stop staring at her hair.

After posting the photo, I received so many requests to do a tutorial.  I finally posted it today and hope you like it!  Take care and God bless!

Hair Care Tips For The Fall And Winter Season

Want to keep your hair healthy during the winter months?

I wrote this blog post on a joint blog a few years ago and decided to share it here since we can all benefit from it.

We agree that patience and consistency are key to a successful healthy hair journey, but we also have to remember the other factors that change our routines and regimens.  As the weather changes, we need to adjust to it by the way we dress and what we do.  And for the hair, it should also be the same too.

I love the Fall season with a passion! But let us discuss hair and some of the ways you can maintain it to keep it beautiful and healthy.

Deep Condition
Many of our workplaces, schools, homes are heated with artificial heat and can therefore dry the hair along with the cold brisk air outside. Our hair thrives when it is well moisturized. Shampooing less and Conditioning will keep the moisture the hair needs to withstand the changes to the environment. After shampooing, sometimes there is a stripping feeling to the hair where you will definitely need to follow up with a moisturizing conditioner.

Wash-N-Go’s 
Many love the Wash-‘N-Go’s or wearing the hair slightly damp and it is simply simple, especially for those who have natural hair. My daughter has natural hair too.  Let us remind ourselves that one can get extremely sick by wearing their hair wet while being outside in the cold. Another reason why you would not want to do a Wash ‘N Go would be the experience of the hair freezing and easily breaking. So Wash 'N Go's, in my opinion should probably be a no-no. I would suggest doing twist outs.

Hair Breakage 
During the winter we wear scarves, hats and sweaters that are made with fabrics such as wool. For example, wool tends to dry out the tresses and also pull on the hair causing slow breakage. The areas that tend to get affected the most are the edges and the nape of the neck. To avoid these types of problems, you can line the hat with a satin or silk fabric as a barrier to protect the hair. If you’re not crafty, you can simply tie a scarf around the head prior to putting on the hat. Putting the hair up while wearing a scarf will also aid in keeping the hair healthy. The more protected the hair, the less damage.

Protective styling
With protective styles, the hair is usually up and away from the shoulders and it will not rub as much on the sweaters that will cause hair dryness. Tucking your hair ends away during the harsh weather season will keep your hair from damage while staying moisturized. Not to mention that they are beautiful, you can also have fun with different styles to enhance the beauty of your hair.  If you decide to have your hair down, be sure to moisturize the hair a tad bit more.

Oils
We massage certain oils on their scalps, mix it with their shampoos and/or conditioners and use it as a daily moisturizer to help seal in the moisture the hair needs to stay healthy. Not only do oils moisturize the hair and body, but different ones do have several beneficial factors. Research the oils to see what best fits your healthy hair and skin needs. My favorite oils are coconut, olive, castor and tea tree oils.

Hair Products
In some cases, you may have to use a product that will do a lot for the hair this winter season. Something that may have been a bit too much for the summer most likely will be great for the winter. Be sure it keeps your hair well moisturized and it does it's job.

Using less heat to NO heat
Using heat will help the cold air cause more dryness to the hair. Especially DIRECT HEAT. Direct heat constitutes using a flat iron directly on the hair.  Roller sets are okay since the heat is indirectly used and not concentrated on the hair like an iron to a shirt.

Moisture, moisture and moisture 
Moisturizing the hair is not just limited to the summer, but also recommended for the winter too. As mentioned before, between the extreme temperatures of the indoors and outdoors, moisturizing enough will help the hair to stay protected.

Stick to what works for you
There are several ideas when it comes to hair care. But remember to always stick to what works for you! Your hair will be happy and stay healthy.

Notice a theme here: MOISTURE!!!!

Feel free to share what has worked for you, or something I did not mention here that we can all benefit from during the colder months.

We'll chat soon!

What A Hair Journey! 2013 Update

It's been 6 long years - 3 bad set backs and all, but I'm here now.

I have been on my hair journey since late October 2007.

By now, you would have thought that I should have been waist length, or even hip length.  I thought so myself too when I first started my journey.  But I was so wrong!

I can not say that my hair journey was horrible.  It could have been worse than horrible.  I will say that my hair journey was normal except for the set backs I experienced.  And those set backs did set me back where I had to let go of the idea of having long hair for a while.

Let us remind ourselves again that it happens and we must learn to accept it, understand it and learn from it.

Here are the bad set backs I had during my hair journey.

I colored my hair (slightly bleached it and then put on a rinse). My hair started to slowly break off and it was so dry and brittle. Will I color my hair again? No, I will only do color rinses. I don't even want to think about doing henna....at least not yet.

• What did I do: I decided to focus on the health of my hair, clip my ends and while staying at bra strap length. This has been over the course of three years of being bra strap length, trying to get rid of the bleached/dyed hair completely.

I suffered from post partum hair shedding. I lost all of my edges and had a bad widow's peak. My shedded hair looked like tumble weeds on my bathroom floor. 

• What did I do: I did more cowashes, protein treatments, rubbed castor oil on my scalp and styled my hair that would last a whole week.  I was also afraid to comb or even touch my hair, but mostly used my fingers to comb and conditioner to detangle before a wash.  And of course, I kept taking my prenatal vitamins.

After I stopped taking contraceptives (birth control), I went through hair shedding again, this time it was all throughout my head, I did not lose much of my edges...this was just early this year.  It has stopped shedding excessively and is pretty much back to normal again. (Side note: Contraceptive alters your hormones, so when you stop taking them, your body is trying to readjust to it's normal natural state. No baby plans here, I'm getting older and contraceptives does not agree with my body anymore.)

• What did I do: I deep conditioned, cowashed, protein treatments and massaged my scalp with castor oil at times.  And since I do not like my hair down during the summer, I had it in a bun most of the season.

Patience was been key during this whole hair journey. I would have loved to stick to getting my hair long. But you know what...health is even better.  Does not make sense for me to have long unhealthy hair.

For those of you who have been on a real long hair journey, it's okay. I am on one and look where I am now. Instead of giving up and being upset about never have long hair, I decided to shift my focus to wanting healthy hair.  And yes, I had moments of frustrations, moments where I wanted to chop my hair off and moments where I said that I did not care about this whole hair journey thing....those thoughts occupied my mind after I saw how damaging my hair started to become after the hair color. Right now, my focus is still the same to this day...HEALTHY HAIR.  Of course, a healthy diet, vitamins and water too.

I always say this, "A healthy head of hair will always turn heads no matter at what length."

Before Trim & After Trim
(My hair was not colored, the photos were taken at two different times of the day with flash.
The picture on the left is my natural hair color in the sun.)

Thanks for reading, enjoy the pics and we'll chat soon!

FAQ: "Should I Relax My Child's Hair?"

Before I get into why I did not or have not relaxed my daughter's hair, let us address the title to this blog post first.

When is a good age to relax a child's hair? I can not tell anyone that. That course of action is entirely up to the person. But I will say this, If you are not educationally ready or prepared to care for relaxed hair, do not do it.  If your daughter is not mature, is not responsible and old enough to understand what you have learned about caring for relaxed hair, don't do it. If your reasons include relaxing the hair to be a quick fix and a resolution to all, don't do it.

Just because there are relaxers marketed for young girls does not mean it is okay for them.  But consider the care after the relaxer treatment.  Plenty of times I have seen thinned out, severe breakage around the edges and matted hair on young beautiful girls.  It is obvious that the hair was not maintained or cared for properly.

No matter what you do with any type of hair (natural, relaxed, texturized); education, proper care, knowledge and understanding lead to a successful hair journey.

I have been on blogs, forums and facebook fan pages geared to children's hair care.  On several ocassions, the questions from mothers/caregivers wanting to relax their daughter(s) hair and should they comes up.  I have also received the same question a few times, although my daughter's hair is natural. The question is, Why? And I am not asking the question as to why do you want to put chemicals in her hair, obviously there is more to it.  But what are your reasons behind wanting to relax your child's hair?

Here are the reasons I have seen with the question above:

* It will save me time.
* It will be easier to manage the hair.
* It will show my child's hair length.
* It looks better.
* My daughter's hair is so "nappy". (I cringe at the word nappy.)
* Styling is easier with relaxed hair.
* She cries when I style her hair.
* I don't like her hair texture.
* I don't understand why her hair is not like my family's hair.
* The children at school make fun of her hair.
* She wants to be like her friends.
* Her father complains on how the hair looks.
* I want her to be like her friends.
* My family feels that she needs it.
* She is the only/few girls that are (insert racial background here) with afro hair and her classmates have straight hair.
* My friend's daughter's hair is relaxed and it is beautiful.
* My daughter cries because she feels different from every one.

These are just a few I have seen. Just a FEW! My thing is, the reasons above will be relevant to the person and makes sense to them...maybe not to me nor to you.  I know some of you are saying that some of the reasons are shallow.  But to the person, the reasons may be shallow...but valid, emotional or thoughtless to some. But it is what they truly feel, because they have to deal with their own situation at hand.

If you relax your child's hair, are you ready to care for it the way it should be cared for?  Did you do research to see what relaxed hair needs?  Did you consider how it will affect your child's developing scalp? Are you relaxed yourself, with a beautiful head of hair and plan on taking your daughter with you to get her hair done too (extra $$ spent)? Are you going to teach her how to care for it?

Now let us briefly talk about me.

My daughter, MadiMel, as you all know, has natural hair.  Am I planning to relax her? No.  Has the thought crossed my mind? Yes, before I started her natural hair journey (when mine started). I had my goal set on relaxing her hair when she turned 8,9 or 10 years old. My reasons were: Her hair was coarse, it was challenging to manage, thought it would look cute.  Basically, I just wanted to relax her hair and keep it moving.

Since she was a toddler, my train of thought was, How can I care for her hair now before I start relaxing it?  And guess what, I learned and conquered.  Since I educated myself and researched, there was and is no need for it.   It completely changed my mind about doing it at 8, 9 or 10 years old.  I just won't any more and you can see why.

And yes, she just turned 8 years old. I feel that she is young now and does not need it since I have done research to care for her natural hair while she was and is young.  She is extremely active, sits upside down to watch a show or movie, cartwheels, flips...she is too active.  If she decides to do it when she is much older and can afford it, I will share my techniques because I have been doing a decent job with my own relaxed hair.  She is currently learning how to care for her natural hair and she may just stick with it into her adult years.

Things to consider when relaxing your child's hair (some reiterated):

* The child's age
* Scalp sensitivity to chemicals
* Breakage if not cared for properly
* New growth
* Dryness
* Maintenance
* Time
* Knowledge is key, but will you put in the effort
* Money

Think about the things I mentioned above, before you make a big step as to relaxing your child's hair.

What other things would you say to someone who wants to relax their child's hair?
(Please be respectful within your comments below :-) )